Episode 418: Trial of the Riddlemancers
"Trial of the Riddlemancers" was originally released August 6, 2018. Description GREETINGS, TRAVELER. You find yourself locked within the deepest depths of our Dastardly Podcast Labyrinth! There is only one escape: Solve these ingenious, crowdsourced riddles! We found them on the very worst website we've ever been to. Suggested talking points: A Lot of Vasectomy Chat, White Hat Aldi Hacker, Badass Kung Fu Panda Quotes, Riddles.com, Fountains of Pain Outline 0:45 - Intro. Justin has just gotta get a vasectomy. 15:46 - About two weeks ago, a set of keys was found near a set of mailboxes in my neighborhood. Someone hung them on a nearby bulletin board but no one has claimed them. There's a store loyalty card on the key chain, and I happen to know there's a vulnerability in the company's website that would allow me to access their personal information, including a phone number and email address. Is it okay to obtain and use that information to contact them and help them get their keys back? P.S. I reported the vulnerability to the company months ago but they don't seem interested in fixing it. - Helpful Hacker in REDACTED 21:21 - Y - Sent in by Adrian Cowles, from Yahoo Answers user Cody, who asks: Will people think I'm tough if I talk through clenched teeth and wear sunglasses? 25:04 - Me and my family like to go out and eat every weekend, and one of our favorite places to visit is a local Mexican food restaurant, but recently we've been avoiding the restaurant since one of the staff there keeps asking us riddles while we order. He won't even ask us if we want to hear them any more, he just starts asking us riddles until we've lost our appetite. There was even an instance where the whole night he just kept trying to get us to invest in Bitcoin, and that's not a riddle, that's different. I love this restaurant, since it has amazing burritos, but this guy repels us from going back. How should I confront this burrito riddler so I can enjoy a nice meal without being forced to listen to his musings? - Gmail 27:34 - Justin discovers Riddles.com and gives us the following (terrible) crowd-sourced riddles: * I have ten tacos. My friend eats three of his. I eat eleven. How many do I have left by tomorrow? (They all fuse into a piece of feces in my toilet. Yum!) * What do ghosts eat for breakfast? (Dreaded wheat.) * I am neither liquid nor solid or gas. I am used to create famous things, but I do not get any fame. If you merge solid and liquid, you will find the other part of who I am. What am I? (Paint.) * You can carry it everywhere you go and it does not get heavy. What is it? (Your name.) * I'm big as an elephant but lighter than a feather. What am I? (The wind.) * Which of these words is the odd one out? Apple, care, or strawberry? (Strawberry, because apple and care end with an E, but strawberry doesn't.) * The hand sows, the eyes harvest. (To read and to write.) * Help me solve this: I have six legs, three eyes, five tails, twenty ears, and half of a head. What am I? (I don't know. Please help me solve this.) 34:13 - MZ - Message from Jamie to Matt. Message from Your Tom for B. Message from Mae, Andrew, Artemis, and Machi, for Jonathan Kane. Advertisement for Everything's Coming Up Simpsons. 41:31 - I have a friend who plays live music in bars and restaurants as a primary source of income. He has a great steady gig at a hotel restaurant, except for one tiny problem. Every time he plays a solo show there he is contractually obligated to play Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne. Not a joke. He did not read his contract carefully enough before signing, and now, legally, it's required for him to opine for fictional mom at least once a week. Brothers, it's been almost a year of this, and my friend now hates this song more than anything. Is there anything I can do to help him get out of this situation? - Sick of Stacy's Mom in Southern Maine 49:25 - Housekeeping 52:02 - FY - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Matt85, who asks: Have you ever bought a burger from a burger van? Quotes Notes Category:Episodes Category:Riddle Me Piss Category:Adrian Cowles Category:Drew Davenport